The Love of Reassurance
by Mu xxx
Summary: HPSS.Slash.Harry becomes inundated with thoughts and feelings from his arduous Muggle upbringing, which leads to an attempted taking of his own life. The result ends up affecting both his and Snape's lives more than they could have realised.
1. ALL FOR THE BEST

**AN:** This is actually a re-post! I wrote this fic a while ago now, probably a couple of years now that I think of it, and am deciding to put up again after my account was deleted. So if itseems at all familiar, then that's why!

The rating is for sexual themes, which will be editeddown to the_M_ rating rather than the original _NC-17_.

This **IS** a **slash** fic between Severus Snape and Harry Potter. That means love between two men. If you are not comfortable with this, then please save yourself by not reading. This fic will also be dealing with a few other themes, including self-harm and attempted suicide. So please be warned.

**DISCLAIMER:** All characters belong rightfully to JK Rowling. No profit is being made.

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_**THE LOVE OF REASSURANCE **_

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CHAPTER ONE: _ALL FOR THE BEST

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Life at Hogwarts for Harry Potter was one of much significance. Never before in his life had Harry ever felt such amity within him self, and it was all due to the fact he attended such a fine school. Every minuscule detail of Hogwarts was incredible, and Harry couldn't get enough of it.

True there had been hard times, the fiasco with just being himself attracted enough attention and caused difficulties. There were many who thought, by Harry's fourth year, that he was just a fame-seeking brat. The first was Professor Gilderoy Lockhart, five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award, who had more than assumed Harry was more interested in publicity than even he himself was. There were others of course, Draco Malfoy for one, not to mention Professor Severus Snape Harry's not so humble Potions Master. But as long as Harry had his friends, everything was fine.

Or so he thought.

Things just weren't going so well. Harry continually had too much homework, most of which came from the most pathetic of all subjects which was Divination. It wasn't that it was the most difficult subject, he and Ron were doing fine by simply predicting every sort of un-thinkable ways of dieing; then handing it in. It was just so time consuming. Believe it or not, it did actually take time to make up stuff, and double check that you weren't going to be strangled by one of the Weasley's garden gnomes twice in one week. The tediousness of it all was wearing him down, along with other things.

Day in day out, ever since the first moment he had entered this class, Potions was a complete drag. No, it was more than that; it was worse than the kiss of a Dementor. And that was saying something. Sitting in the back row with his friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, Harry was awaiting the next insult for he was sure it would be coming. And it did every time. Maybe that mad Professor Trelawney was right about the whole _knowing the future_ rubbish.

As slimy as ever, Snape approached Harry's desk. This went unknown to the boy as he was in a far off dreamland, hoping that by some miracle the bell would sound early.

"POTTER!"

Harry snapped to attention.

"Sir?" He asked, raising his eyes brows innocently.

"I asked you a question, although it seems you were too busy daydreaming. Ten points from Gryffindor and it will be another ten if you can't answer me, and no help from you Granger!" The outskirts of Snape's thin lips were ever so slightly pointing upwards, revealing a crooked smirk. Harry couldn't be bothered with his crap today of all days. Not even the smarmy look on Malfoy's ferret-ish features could provoke Harry today.

"I don't know Sir." He said tonelessly. Snape didn't look impressed.

"Thirty points from Gryffindor and detention! See me after class, Potter!" He turned sharply, and if it were anyone else, his or her hair would have swished at the sudden action. But because this was Snape, it stayed unmoving and oiled to his scalp. Malfoy sneered.

Harry took a deep breath and awaited the bell.

After what seemed like an endless eternity, the bell rang signifying the end of the class. At once, students began disembarking the room. Ron and Hermione insisted that they wait behind for Harry, but Harry knew there was no point in them wasting their free afternoon waiting outside a classroom listening as Harry received an ear bashing. So reluctantly, they left too.

Harry knew well enough by now to just stay seated and wait for the time when Snape decided he was ready to _chat_. It seemed that time came all too soon.

"Here, Potter." The dark haired professor ordered. Harry complied and sat in the seat that Snape had conjured next to his desk. There was an awkward moment.

"Listen Potter, don't think this is going to be a regular occurrence, but this is happening far too often as of late. I wont deny the fact I enjoy taking points from Gryffindor on your accord, but then I'm sure you like any moment you can get in the lime-light." He stopped to survey what Harry's reactions were; Harry's face was strangely blank. "So explain. Are you that insistent on failing Potions?"

Harry looked up into the cold black eyes interrogating him. By now, Harry had come to recognise Snape's moods and thought he had the man figured out, as he had with most his teachers. But there was something more with Snape, like a hidden jewel in the bottom of a murky river bed, awaiting to be discovered by some miracle.

Harry noticed the vein on Snape's temple begin to visibly pulse; he needed some quick excuse before the Potions master used _Avada Kedavra _on him, he didn't need that again. Actually... the idea didn't seem too bad at the moment.

"Well?" Snape insisted, taking a step closer as if to intimidate Harry further.

"I don't know, Sir." Harry finally said, deciding that he really didn't know why. Well he did, but was he really going to confide some of his most deepest and inner thoughts to Snape of all people? He didn't think so.

"I'm getting tired of these _I don't knows_ Potter, I can't imagine you wanting a month of detentions..." Snape smirked once more.

"As if you care," Harry boomed, rage suddenly filling him from no-where "you love humiliating me in front the class, in front of your troop of ugly Slytherin slime balls, you get your kicks from taking extra points from Gryffindor you said it yourself! I bet it's only because we've won the house cup three years in a row and you know you can't win!" Harry paused, awaiting Snape's reaction, or more likely, awaiting further punishment. To Harry's surprise, Snape just stared back at him expressionless. It was only then Harry realised how close he was to the Potions master, and gasped in shock when he realised he had taken a fist full of his black robes.

"I suggest you unhand me, Potter... and calm yourself." Snape said in a strangely passive voice that seemed unnervingly alien to Harry's ears. Harry relaxed his grip and sat back in his chair. He was feeling almost ashamed to look Snape in the eye, so he stared at the crinkle marks he had left on Snape's robe instead.

_I wonder if there're irons in the Wizarding world?_ Harry thought idly to himself, but then realised that anything to do with Muggles was probably not. Harry also berated himself at his stupidity.

_There isn't even Muggle electricity here! What am I thinking?_ He hung his head in his hands.

Harry's blood almost froze when he felt the sudden weight of a hand on his shoulder. Maybe Snape had put a hex on him? Maybe he was dreaming? He didn't think so. Harry looked up into the sullen face of Snape who, for the first time since Harry had ever seen him, appeared almost human. Harry knew he must have had the most incredulous expression on his face, but there was nothing that could subdue his shock at Snape's action... Any amount of human kindness simply was not in this mans nature.

"S... Sir?" Harry stuttered, and hated himself for doing so. He didn't want to show he was surprised at the actions.

"Listen Potter, just because you are who you are doesn't mean you're going to get any favours in class from me, you should know that by now. I'll admit you're not my favourite person, but realise that in my class I expect full attention from my students, nothing less will do. And I know for a fact you haven't been paying full attention, but that's just an added bonus for me in some ways. You see where I'm getting at?" Snape asked, sighing in what appeared to be frustration.

Harry was silent for a moment. "I... I guess."

"So Potter, as much to my dismay, as a teacher it's my responsibility to not only punish you but find the root of your misbehaviour. Now if you're not going to tell me, I could always go and get the Veritaserum..." He threatened coldly.

Harry thought for a moment. If Snape gave him that potion who knows what he might blab! "There's nothing to tell, sir." Harry thought for the slightest moment that Snape may have believed his bluff, but it worked as well on him as had done on Sirius.

"Potter, how do you expect me to help when you wont tell me?" Snape was feeling frustration. It felt so odd to be acting this way to _Harry Potter, _but he couldn't help but feel a pang of remorse when he saw the dull look in Potter's usually bright green eyes. There was something bothering the boy, and he intended to find out what it was.

"It's not like I asked you," Harry replied snidely, rediscovering some his old flames "you could just turn a blind-eye like you usually do Snape, you obviously have no consideration for others at all..." Harry stood to leave.

"Oh no you don't" Snape seized the hem of Harry's cloak before he could get too far. "You're not going anywhere unless you want a whole year of detentions and one hundred and fifty points from Gryffindor... Still leaving?" He asked, knowing he had won. Harry was fuming, but grudgingly replaced himself back in the chair. This time Snape took his seat too.

"Why are you doing this? What do you want?" Harry asked in a now tired tone, this was getting very cumbersome. Snape thought for a moment. Harry was greatly surprised that Snape didn't pull him up on he calling him _Snape _and dropping all the formalities, any other time Harry would have been sure he would have been stunned on the spot.

"Look, _Harry,_" He put slight, but noticeable emphasis on Harry's first name, which he had never called him. "As much as some people hate to admit it, there are just some circumstances that change everything. And now is one of those circumstances. Never have I treated you this way before, which you would know, but you also must understand that I have my reasons for acting the way I do, as I am sure you do too. Am I right?"

This finally got Harry's attention. "Yes, I suppose so."

"So tell me Potter, I can assure you what ever conversation transpires between us, it will be left strictly between us. Can you trust me?" Snape asked, an express on his face that Harry had never identified him to have shown before. Harry thought for a moment.

"I don't think I can, Sir. You know as well as I that I have reason to suspect your motives, I mean, wouldn't this be the perfect opportunity to get me to reveal something you can use, once again, against me?" Harry said, feeling a wave of something like pride rushing through him.

"Okay Potter... I was hoping it wasn't going to have to come to this." Snape paused as if to survey Harry for a moment. "I'll be seeing you every night for the next two weeks. If you don't improve or tell me by the end of those two weeks, it will be another two. You are dismissed." Snape stood from his chair and began clearing up all his teaching things. Harry, feeling worse than ever, got up and left.

The next two days passed slowly, much to Harry's dismay, and nothing seemed to get any brighter for the Boy-Who-Lived. It was just the same-old same-old, only now without any sort of amusement. Hermione was continually trying to get both Harry and Ron to study, because their 7th year was a very important year, but that was nothing different. Ron was, as always, making excuses not to do work.

"Hey Dean, fancy a game of exploding snap?"

Hermione glared at both boys.

"Sure!" Dean grinned and abandoned his Transfiguration homework.

At this time, of course, Harry was down in the dark dungeons. Snape had set him to work, sorting out various vials of different potions. It seemed Snape was actually running out of tasks to give him for this one was to pointlessly put them into alphabetical order.

Snape had tried to coax an explanation out of Harry, but it was just impossible- even for the intimidating greasy git of a Potions Master. And surprisingly, he had left Harry in the Potions room by himself. Usually Snape would busy himself at his desk, either marking work or doing whatever else it was that teachers did.

So this left Harry sitting cross-legged on the cold stone floor. Alone. The room had always been dank, but from this lower point of view it seemed even more so. It was just such a depressing scene; Harry didn't know how Snape could bare to be in there for the majority of his time. The room just screamed out for you to think of anything and everything bad in your life, and Harry couldn't help but reflect on his.

During of all his hardships, Harry realised, he had never really confided in someone. Sure he told Ron and Hermione everything that had happened, but he had only told them what had prevailed- not what he had been feeling. Over the past few years, Harry had known that there was something manifesting inside of him, an emotion so dark that even he was too afraid to properly search it. He could feel it, mostly in the deep of the night when he laid awake, too afraid to sleep as to avoid the horrific nightmares that had been plaguing him since his first year.

But right now, in this gloomy room, Harry couldn't help but feel this unknown emotion rising. It was even a little frightening, as it suddenly washed over him in waves of pain. Not a pain like that of being kicked in the gut, but more like an inner ache of feelings. It hurt in his chest, and he felt the stale air he was breathing rush out quicker than it should.

Memories... Lots of thoughts came flooding back to him. Back to the days of primary school, Dudley and his bullies... being stuck up the tree after Aunt Marges dog chased him up there and them leaving him up there till it was past midnight... The first time he saw Voldemort, hearing for the first time of his parents murder... Fighting against Tom Riddle in the chamber of secrets, killing the Basilisk snake... Hearing his dead mothers screams of anguish... The weight of the fate of the Wizarding and the Muggle worlds on his shoulders...

Harry closed his eyes to fight away the burning. He had yet to cry, to wallow in his own sadness. And there was no way he was going to do it now, not in Snape's dungeon... not ever. But how could he fight it off? Voldemort was still out there, biding his time before he pursued yet another attack on Harry.

Harry was living in borrowed time.

It would be all too soon before he would have to face the Dark Lord again, and whose to know if he will live through it? No one has ever lived though as many encounters with him as Harry had, and maybe it was all luck... it would be just a matter of time before that luck ran out. If someone like Dumbledore couldn't keep the Lord at bay, what chance on earth would someone like Harry have? Hell, he could barely manage to pass potions let alone Duel and win against the most powerful wizard of his time.

A sudden sharp sound made him flinch, and Harry realised he had been clutching the beaker he had been holding too tightly. Shards of glass lie on the ground, and Harry noticed he was bleeding.

_But that's strange..._ He thought, looking at the gushing wound. _It doesn't hurt..._ Harry just sat and stared as a pool of blood steadily dripped to the ground. It began making a river of thick redness in the crevices between the stone on the floor, and he couldn't help but wonder when it was going to stop.

With his non-injured hand, Harry used a finger to feel the gape, and found that there was a rather large piece of glass imbedded in his palm. He found the edge, and gave a tug. A pain flared, but it was surprisingly comforting. For the last few months, Harry had been feeling rather numb, and he couldn't help the smile he felt on his lips. He felt human. And humans can break too.

Getting a better grip of the glass, he held it tightly and pulled. The jarring action caused more damage than he thought it would, and the wound grew another few centimetres. It began just under his forefinger, running the length of his palm to just above the beginning of his wrist. He was sure there was more glass in there, but there was just too much blood to see anything.

Still holding the removed slither of glass, he tested its sharpness on the tip of his finger on his good hand. It cut him easily.

Harry's head began to spin as he finally realised what had happened. He was loosing blood quickly, and realised he must have definitely hit a vein.

_But maybe this is for the best..._ He thought, looking at the blood stained glass._ Maybe if I just die of blood-loss, Voldemort will give up trying to kill me and then no more of the people I love will have to die... And I'll get to see Mum and Dad... Hermione and Ron will be safe... It's all for the best._ A wry smile spread on his face, and Harry brought the glass to the injured hands wrist.

He could see the bluey colour of his pulsing vein pumping the blood that was leaking out of his palm... He put the glass on it and pressed. Harry could feel his skin breaking, but it was almost as if it was surreal. It was like it wasn't really him that was doing it, that he was merely watching from somewhere else. The sharp edge went deeper, a torrent of red now flowing and joining up with the rest of the blood that had formed a pool on the stone. Harry drew the sharpness down gradually, as if savouring it. He shut his eyes and smiled.

_All for the best... All for the best... _

His head began spinning in a delightful way, and he suddenly felt like sleeping. Harry vaguely noticed he had dropped the glass, and tried to open his eyes to find it again. Seeing bright stars shoot across his vision, Harry didn't even feel himself slump and land in his own, now cooling, blood.

And there he lay, still with smile on his face.

_All for the best... _

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_I will be updating fairly quickly, as this fic is complete- I just need to re-read the chapters before I post them to make sure there are no faults- any missed misktakes are all my own, and for reasons that are also my own I choose not to have a beta reader. _

_Thankyou for reading! Please review... _


	2. A DEATH EATERS' PRIVILEGE

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**AN:** Thank you to the eight of you who reviewed, I appreciate it loads!

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**CHAPTER TWO:** _A DEATH EATERS PRIVILEGE

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Snape all most fell over his own robe when he entered his dungeon to check on his latest detention subject. He had seen, as much he hated to admit, and participated, in horrible things that now hardly compared to the sight in this room. He had been subjected to the worst pain, the Cruciatus curse and even witnessed the sickening rapes performed by various Death Eaters. Thankfully he had never been granted that _privilege_.

He almost gagged as he rushed over to the bloody Harry slumped on the floor. He turned him over, still warm blood now soaking into his own robe, and checked for a pulse. It was there, but weak. Snape rushed over to the fireplace that was seldom lit, even during the freezing winters, and asked for Madame Pomfrey. Her head popped into the fireplace and she didn't look happy.

"This had better be important Profe.. Oh!" Her head disappeared and moments later her whole body stepped out of the fire place. Without even giving Snape another glance, she rushed over to Harry and began examining him with her wand. Snape took this moment to contact Dumbledore.

Albus Dumbledore's head popped into the fire just like Pomfrey's had. "Severus, to what do I owe this honour?" He had yet to see Pomfrey hovering over Harry.

"Headmaster, something has happened to Harry Potter. It seems he has injured himself." He was interrupted as Pomfrey addressed him.

"Professor, I would ask you to join me in the infirmary. Follow me now. I want an explanation." She ordered, already heading for the door. Snape nodded and turned back to Dumbledore.

"I will meet you there, Severus." He replied, his now pale complexion disappearing from the hearth.

Poppy Pomfrey had been smart enough to cast a concealment charm on Harry, as there was already enough attention being drawn to the stretcher that trailed behind her, not to mention the presence of Professor Snape and his bloody robes. It was lucky that there weren't many students in the corridors, but there were hushed mutterings as the trio quickly made their way to the medical wing.

When they arrived, Dumbledore was already there. Harry was taken to a bed in the private section of the infirmary where Pomfrey finished casting spells to stop the bleeding and any impending infections. Once she had bandaged Harry's hand and wrist and administered the potion that re-formed blood, she turned to Snape and Dumbledore who were now talking quietly.

"What happened Severus?" The two wizards talking in quiet monotones looked up.

"I think that it's pretty clear what happened." Snape replied, rather snidely.

"Don't you take that tone with me, I'm not some student you can speak down to. Could you just please run me though the events." She looked irritable, but gave him no choice.

Snape scoffed. "Well, he failed to pay attention in my class, wouldn't tell me why, so I gave him detention. I set him the task of re-labelling, cleaning and putting various vials and beakers in alphabetical order. I left the class room, as I had more pressing matters to attend to, and came back an hour later to what you saw." He rolled his eyes.

"I see." She nodded her head, thinking. "Well someone has to inform his friends, or else they'll think you ate him Professor." She couldn't contain a small chuckle, as she knew what kind of absurd stories those Gryffindor's were capable of.

"If that's all, I'll be leaving." He turned on his heel, his robe, which was still blood stained, billowing behind him. Neither Poppy nor Albus said a word as he left.

"Thank you Poppy, you have worked wonders as always." Dumbledore smiled sadly. "Now tell me about Mr. Potter, how is he?"

"Well, he had a pretty nasty wound to the palm of his hand and wrist." She sighed. "But, I have reason to suspect that only half of it was accidental."

Dumbledore nodded, looking grave.

"He's lucky Professor Snape found him when he did, he'd lost an awful lot of blood. He should be fine in about a week though, as it takes a couple of days to re-form that amount of blood to the system. Now, if you'll excuse me I'd like to check his vitals." She smiled weakly as Dumbledore exited.

It was late, around 11:30 pm and still Harry had yet to emerge from the dungeons. He had failed to arrive at Dinner, but Snape was also absent then. It was a known fact that Snape was the equivalent of a slave driver, but he'd never been known to hold students this long, even if it was Harry we were talking about.

"Just sit still Ron, I'm sure he'll be up here any minute. All your fidgeting is distracting me; do you know how much I have to concentrate while I'm doing my Arithmancy homework? Don't you have any yourself?" Hermione said to Ron in an almost scalding voice.

"But 'Mione, where is he? I bet that Snape is doing this on purpose... he knew we'd be up all night till Harry got back… bastard." He said, pacing the Gryffindor common room anxiously. " I bet he's even torturing him with food, bet he got the House-elves to bring him up something just so he could eat it in front of him…"

"Ron! Please, just sit down! Oh look, there's an owl at the window." Hermione got up to let the small-ish barn owl in the window. It flew to where she had been sitting and landed on her books. "No! Don't stand on that!" She rushed over and picked it up, placing the bird on her lap while she untied the letter attached to its leg. "Go up to the boys dorm, and if you go to the third bed on the left you will find some treats on the bed side table." The owl flew away in search of treats while Ron came and sat with Hermione.

"Whose it from?"

"It's got the Hogwarts seal..." Hermione muttered, opening it. "Oh it's from Professor Dumbledore!"

'_Dear Ron and Hermione,_

_I was wondering if the two of you could spare a few moments of your time to come see me in my office tonight. I understand if it's too late, and I will see you tomorrow instead if you like. Otherwise, the password is: "Pear Drops". Although I must add it is rather important._

_Regards,_

_Albus Dumbledore._

_Headmaster of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.'_

Hermione and Ron stared at the letter for a few more seconds before wordlessly getting to their feet and heading out the door.

They continued to walk in silence until they reached the Gargoyle guarding the entrance to the hall that lead to Dumbledore's office. It swung open once they had muttered the password, and Hermione and Ron continued the trek to the large oak door. Hermione, hand poised to knock, flinched as the door automatically opened before she had even touched it.

"Enter," Came an aged voice from beyond the door. "Please, do sit down." They obliged. "Now, I assume neither of you have any idea why I have called you here?"

The two looked at each other. "Does it have something to do with Harry sir? Because he was in detention with Snape and he hasn't..." But Dumbledore cut Ron off.

"Yes, I am aware. And I'm afraid this is concerning young Harry. But first I need to ask you both a few questions. Is this okay?" Dumbledore asked in a strangely neutral tone for himself.

Ron and Hermione nodded.

"Good. How had Harry been fairing with schoolwork lately? Has he been struggling? Not paying too much attention?"

"Well you know Harry sir," Hermione started. "He'd much rather play exploding snap with Ron here," She glared," than do homework".

Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes, just like his father I see. Have you noticed him acting strangely lately? And by that I mean anything out of the ordinary?"

"I don't think so sir, I guess he has been a little quiet lately... Oh and today in Potions, he let Snape practically walk all over him. Usually Harry says something..."

"Or Maybe," Hermione said, looking at Ron. "Maybe he's realised that it gets him nowhere back-talking to teachers! You could learn something from that..."

"I do not!"

"Oh yes you do!"

"But...but... I've seen how angry you get when Snape says those things to you!" Ron said, his face reddening.

"Yes, but at least I don't make a fool out of myself and get detention by being rude to the teacher."

"Oh shut up!" Ron huffed and crossed his arms, slumping into the cushiony chair he was in.

"If you are finished," Dumbledore piped up. They nodded. "Okay, I don't know how you are going to take this... But I feel that only the truth will do. I was thinking of leaving it up to Harry to tell you, but I feel you can both be more help if you know exactly what happened. Before you interrupt, let me say I wish to say all I have to say then you can ask questions. Ok?"

Ron and Hermione exchanged now concerned glances and once again nodded their heads.

"Something unfortunate has happened, which resulted in Harry being sent to the infirmary." He saw the incredulous looks on their faces. "And no, this has nothing to do with Professor Snape, except for the fact that if he had of arrived any later than he did to check on Harry, then... who knows what might of happened. It appears that Harry tried to harm himself..."

"No! Harry would never!" Hermione then stood from her chair, realisation dawning on her. Dumbledore gestured for her to take her seat.

"Yes Miss Granger, this is how things appear. He lost a lot of blood and will consequently be spending a few days in a comatose sleep, while the blood re-forms. He should be awake in four to five days. One thing I do ask of you, and I already have complete faith in you both mind you, is that you don't breathe a word of this to anyone. The only people who know are Madame Pomfrey, Professor Snape, the two of you and myself. We don't want something like this leaking out into the public. You already know the damage that the local tabloids can cause first hand."

There was a few moments silence. "Why...? Why did he do that?" Hermione looked up, tears in her eyes. "Doesn't he know how much we'd miss him? How much a lot of people would miss him! What about Sirius? Does he know?"

Dumbledore shook his head. " I have yet to break the news to him in fear he'd return here. And at this stage we can't afford to jeopardise any more lives. And why did Harry do this? We won't know for sure. We can only assume that right now he needs a couple of good friends." He smiled weakly.

"Can... er.. can we see him Sir?" Ron spoke, his eyes still downcast as he was obviously fighting back the tears.

"Well… It is pretty late..."

"Please!" They asked in unison.

"Ok, but I insist you Floo there."

"Why?" Hermione asked, a little dumfounded.

"Because that way there will be no disturbance in the Halls and it's quicker. I also recommend you Floo back to the Gryffindor Tower too." Dumbledore handed them the Floo powder and in no time the trio were standing in the dark confines of the infirmary.

The headmaster lead them to a private corner, where he pulled back the curtains to reveal a very pale and slumbering Harry, his left hand and wrist heavily bandaged.

"Oh Harry!" Hermione whispered, a flood of tears cascading down her face. She lent over and kissed him on the forehead, brushing back his hair with her hand in an almost motherly fashion.

After Ron and Hermione had seen enough of the bed-ridden Harry while trying to force Dumbledore to let them stay, they reluctantly Floo-ed back to the Gryffindor common room.

As the days progressed, they were hit with questions about Harry's absence and were growing continually frustrated. He had yet to rouse from his induced sleep, and Hermione and Ron were by his side for as much time as they could allow. This meant that they couldn't be there every hour there wasn't class, because they were becoming inundated with homework. One afternoon, though, they were unable to visit until later on and had to sneak down after curfew (wearing Harry's cloak of course!). When they arrived, however, they were more than shocked to see Snape sitting beside Harry's bed, a very solemn look on his usually anger contorted face.

"Shit!" Ron cursed as they rounded the corned. Snape's head shot up- he'd obviously heard them.

Hermione put her hand over his mouth. If it hadn't of been so dark, Ron would have seen the glare that she was giving him. After a few more moments, Snape relaxed again and turned back towards Harry. His lips were moving, but it appeared that nothing was coming out. Hermione crinkled her eyebrows and strained her ears, trying to hear anything. She couldn't.

After a minute of studying him, she realised what he was doing. He was saying an incantation! She remembered that look from the time she had thought he had been jinxing Harry's broom during a Quidditch match, but he had in fact been trying to counter a jinx that Professor Quirrel (AKA Voldemort!) had been doing. Hermione elbowed Ron and motioned for them to move back out again.

Once they were back out in the hall, she spoke to him.

"Snape was saying an incantation! I'd know that look any day... what do you think it was?"

"I don't know... probably some form of the killing curse for all we know! I bet he has something to do with this you know..." Ron's eyes flashed dangerously. "We should go back in there and stop him!"

"No! We can't do that… But what if he's not? For all we know, he could be helping Harry!"

"Arg, don't be so optimistic Hermione! This is _Snape_ we're talking about! And that is _Harry Potter_ in there! As if he'd help Harry willingly! If you'd just let me go in there and..."

"And what Ron? Just let you go in there and get sprung for being out of bed past curfew? And knowing you you'd open your big mouth and insult him and get in more trouble! I think it's about time we gave him at least a little bit of credit, I mean he _has_ done some good things for the right side. Can't you imagine how dangerous it must have been to be a spy? Plus, we can't just be stupid about this... there has to be something going on. Do think this has something to do with Volde..." Ron cringed "Oh get over it, do you think it has anything to do with him anyway?"

"Maybe... Lets go back in there and see if we can find anything out."

"I think that's the smartest thing you've said all night." Hermione smiled a small smile. "Come-on.."

They crept back in but Snape hadn't moved. His mouth was still moving in silent speech.

Hermione almost cursed when Ron suddenly grabbed her arm. "What?" She hissed out, attempting to pull her arm out of his grip.

"_Look_! What is he _doing_?" She took a closer look and almost gasped at what she saw. It appeared that Snape was holding Harry's uninjured hand, his thumb stroking one of Harry's fingers. "Eww, don't touch him! 'Mione, we have to do something!" Ron whinged, straining to keep his voice low.

Hermione thought for a moment. "I really want to agree with you Ron... but we can't! I don't understand what's going on... maybe it's part of the spell he's casting to have body contact... I really want to research that. Lets go so I can refer to a book I have..." She turned to leave but Ron stopped her.

"Do you really believe that? But then again... Okay let's go. Although I really don't like the thought of leaving Harry alone with Snape.. with Snape touching him!"

"I know Ron, I know. But let's go."

The duo departed silently and headed back to their dorms.

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Thanks for reading, please review


	3. SUCH TRIVIAL THINGS

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**AN:** Thank you to everyone who reviewed!

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CHAPTER THREE:_ SUCH TRIVIAL THINGS

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Harry opened his eyes. The sight before him made him groan.

_Hospital wing... again?_

Only this time there was a difference. There were no beds beside him, only a white curtain surrounding his bed. Ron and Hermione were nowhere to be seen, and there was an almost eerie silence. Not even Madame Pomfrey could be heard fussing around. It was light, so it must have been day. Only Harry had no idea what time or which day, exactly, it was.

He tried to sit up, but upon putting weight on his injured hand he gasped and fell back down. It was then the memories flooded back to him of what he'd done.

_Oh shit..._

The sound of his movements must have alerted Pomfrey for the next minute the curtains were being drawn back and Harry came face to face with her friendly, but stern face.

"You're awake I see Mr. Potter. How are you feeling?"

"Uhh... a little dizzy, and a bit thirsty?" He answered weakly as his throat was dry and his voice hoarse.

A few minutes later he was being given some painkillers (A potion no doubt produced by Snape as it tasted fouler than it looked) and a bowl of soup. Harry had been informed that he had been asleep for nearly four days, due to the amount of blood he'd lost. Harry thought it strange that still his friends hadn't been down to see him, but brushed it aside as he was given another goblet of dreamless sleep draught.

Harry was in a room, but it wasn't a stark white like the infirmary, it was completely black. He squinted, thinking that maybe it was just dark with no torches lit... but it seemed that no light permeated this room at all. He stretched his arms out in front of him, but felt only air. The ground was firm, presumably stone, and felt smooth and slightly slippery.

The air was still but, as Harry listened, he heard a voice. It was deep and rich, and Harry never wanted it to stop. It was strangely comforting, and seemed to be taking away his fear.

"Who are you...?" Harry whispered, his voice echoing. But the voice didn't falter. He wanted to sit, but found he couldn't make himself. Harry shut his eyes and listened. He'd heard this voice before; he knew that, but never in this tone. This tone was soft... caring even. Harry suddenly got a strong urge to find out who was talking, to see the person. But the room was just so black... so dark. He couldn't even tell the difference between his eyes being open or closed. So how could he possibly see whom it was that was talking? But then again they sounded distant...

Harry tested his legs, gingerly stepping forward. Nothing seemed to be obstructing his path. He took another successful step and felt himself grin. Gaining confidence, Harry began walking at a slow pace but was gradually gaining speed. The voice grew louder and urged him on. Soon Harry had broken out into a run. And he ran and ran and ran... the voice was coming quicker and more urgently in his ears. Harry felt like screaming, felt like growling out in growing frustration. He could hear the voice, but couldn't see a thing. It was the darkness and lack of light of this room that caused Harry to fail seeing the wall coming up in front of him.

He crashed into it full force and felt himself cry out in pain.

The voice stopped.

The night Severus Snape had found Harry had brought back dreadful memories of his own. Although he had never actually done anything of the sort that Harry had done, on many occasions he had more than considered it.

Severus had had a hard life, with everything planned out for him. His family had been one that dated back many centuries and had a very aristocratic view about it. It was extremely pureblood. On the initial rising of the Dark Lord, his family had been one of the first supporters, surrendering themselves to the Dark Lords rule. They had been Severus' parents.

Growing up in an environment that supported the Dark Lord, it was all Severus knew. He realised that it was inevitable that his destiny was to become a Death Eater, and at some point he realised that thought saddened him. True he was a pureblood and thought that they were _better_ than any non-pure-bloods, but he didn't think that they needed to be shunned from existence all together. In fact, he knew many _mudbloods _that were more intelligent than even some of the pure-bloods.

After coming to the conclusion that he really didn't want to join the Dark Lord, knowing there was no way out, these thoughts consumed him. He had heard stories of horrible tortures and rapes, and of how Death Eaters got pleasure out of performing these acts. He didn't want to partake in any of that, nor would he find it even remotely pleasing.

Many a time he had considered just doing away with himself, but then Severus realised that there may be another way. That other way led to his consultation with Dumbledore. After speaking with the man, he realised that not everything would be lost. He finally had hope. He would work against the Dark Lord, and spy for the good side. A sort of double agent, if you must.

But that wasn't the end of his darker thoughts.

It was easily said that he would be a spy, but actually being convincing and pulling it off was another story. For every fact he re-laid to the good side, he had to cover his tracks to make sure if the Dark Lord found out someone had indeed been spying, that he wasn't found out. It was during these times that he had to face all the horrors of Dark Lord, and once... Severus had to kill another. For months he had nightmares where he would see the face of the squib that had been punished for something that couldn't be helped. It wasn't his fault that, despite him being a pure-blood, he was born exempt of a magical aurous.

Even now years later, Severus still felt extremely guilty. But he knew there was nothing to be done. It was the past, and, because he had stayed in Voldemort's inner circle, he had gained many helpful pieces of information of the Lords movements.

On the day of his 18th birthday he had received the mark. It was the worst moment of his life. Later on that day, he witnessed the murder of his father. Apparently he had done an unsatisfactory job on one task he'd been assigned and his punishment was of course, death.

Snape shuddered every time he thought of that one particular memory. It wasn't too much later that his mother met the same fate, for a much similar crime. But for now Severus had already been thinking too much.

He took a deep breath and resumed what he'd been doing; casting a reassurance charm on Harry. It wasn't one that had particularly noticeable results, as he had intended for, but he knew it would help calm the dark thoughts that must have been running through his mind. Severus had stumbled upon it in one of his ancient books while he'd been reading one day. It had been used in the past on those who had particularly hard decisions to make, and would urge them to chose the right choice for themselves. For a while it had been considered to be of dark magic, but that thought had been dismissed when it was realised that its effects were never anything of much significance.

So Severus thought Harry could do with a little push in the right direction, as he had come so close to actually being completely lost for good.

Severus would sit by Harry's bed in the later evenings, knowing that nobody would be down at this time of night. He had made an arrangement with Poppy, who he had told that he'd be casting certain charms on Harry to help his recovery, and she agreed to leave him there alone.

Tonight though, Harry seemed particularly disturbed in his sleep. He shouldn't have been dreaming, because the dreamless sleep Potion would have taken care of that. So Snape set on casting his charm, and watched as he visibly calmed. Closing his eyes and concentrating then re-opening his eyes, Snape hardly realised he had taken a hold of Harry's hand.

He sat there in almost silence, barely even sounding the words past his lips.

Earlier he had thought he had heard a noise, but dismissed it as his nerves just playing up on him.

A sudden jolt by Harry snapped Severus to attention. He focused his eyes in time to see Harry's shoot open and began scanning the room, as if in search of something. Then his eyes settled on him. Snape froze in horror when he realised he was still holding his hand, and tried to remove it only to find Harry's grip holding him in place.

"I see you're back in the.. Oof!" The breath was almost knocked out of him as Harry threw himself around him, squashing their linked hands between them and wrapping his injured arm around his neck. Severus tensed up. He didn't know what to do. This was the last thing he expected Harry to do, and he was beyond shocked. Realising that Harry wasn't going to budge anytime soon, he wrapped his other arm around Harry's shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting manner- Severus wasn't sure.

They stayed like that for many minutes, and Snape had thought that maybe Harry wasn't even awake. But then he spoke.

"It was your voice, wasn't it?" Came the small, sleep hazed voice.

Snape felt himself nod.

"I didn't want it to stop... it was.. it was.. " Snape felt him shaking, and his breathing increasing.

"It's okay, Mr. Potter." He tried to pull away. "I think you should go back to sleep now, it's late."

"No!" Harry cried, looking almost frantic. "Just talk to me... Please..." He buried his face in Snape's neck, and Snape himself began to panic, only a little though.

"I really do think that you should go back to sleep..."

"Only if you stay and talk to me... I heard you, you know. I know you were here, talking to me... what were you saying?" Snape felt a pang of embarrassment. Never in his life had he ever pictured something like this happening... Harry Potter actually wanted him to stay and talk to him. He felt not only confusion, but also something else he just couldn't describe. It was almost as if he liked the thought of Harry wanting him to be there...

"I was saying an incantation." Snape whispered back, admittedly a little scared by his last thought.

"Hmm... say it again?" Snape felt and saw Harry changing position, although not letting him go, so that now he was sitting on the bed, his legs dangling down the side and facing Snape completely.

Snape scolded himself when he felt the heat rise lightly in his cheeks at the sight of Harry's pale thighs that seemed to glow in the diminished light. He was wearing a pair of small black boxer shorts and a Muggle-like hospital gown. Snape was thankful he was wearing the boxer shorts (most patients were to just wear the gown) other wise he might have been able to see more than he desired to.

Swallowing, Snape found his voice. "Only if you get back into bed. Not only should you be asleep, but it's cold in here."

"'K" Harry mumbled before letting go and crawling back into bed. It took Snape all he had to not look at his body when he was on all fours. "Will you say it now?"

Snape nodded and began the incantation. Because he had to keep his eyes open and trained on the subject, he noted all of Harry's reactions. First he seemed tense, but now he was visibly relaxing. Snape's voice faltered when he saw the smile on Harry's face.

_I guess it does work._ He thought idly to himself. After about half an hour, and Snape thought that Harry had fallen asleep he stopped chanting. Immediately Harry's eyes shot open.

"No!" And he sat up, consequently leaning on his injured arm and hissing in pain. "No! Don't leave! Ow..."

If Snape was shocked before, that was nothing compared to what he was feeling now. Having never been in a situation like this before, he didn't know how to react. "Ok, I'll stay a little while longer. But after that I have to go. I may not have classes to teach tomorrow, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to deprive myself of sleep because of a prat like you."

Snape was surprised again to see the amused smile on Harry's face. "Ok."

So once again he set to his incantations. Twice again he tried to leave, but was held back every time. Snape just didn't have the heart to say no.

While his eyes were still closed, Severus Snape was awoken by a growing ache in his back. He frowned when he realised he must have fallen asleep on his desk, although it did seem just a little too high and soft.

He cracked open an eye and saw only white. He sat up and realised that a hand had been woven into his hair, and cringed when his hair was pulled. Snape remembered where he was. He was still in the infirmary, and had consequently fallen asleep in his chair beside Harry's bed. Thankfully he was still asleep.

A noise from behind altered him. It was Madame Pomfrey.

"Severus!" She exclaimed, obviously getting a fright. Snape held his finger up to his lip and gestured for her to be quiet, and he raised himself painfully from his chair and led her out the door.

"Severus, what are you still doing here?"

"Listen, I think there may be something wrong with him..." He saw the sarcastic yet skeptical look on her round face. "And no, this has nothing to do with any feelings of dislike I may harbour for the boy. That's beyond the point. He wouldn't let me leave."

"Since when do you do anything that a student says? Especially one you are renowned to pay especially ill attention towards? Don't tell me that just because he told you not to leave you couldn't?" There was the skepticism again.

"No, Poppy, you don't understand..." A noise from Harry's private room interrupted them. Without another word, they both entered to find Harry thrashing around on the bed. He looked as if he was having a painful nightmare, and Severus couldn't help but worry for him.

Pomfrey rushed over to him and cast a calming charm, but it had nil affect. She frowned, and tried again. But still nothing happened. She decided to try and wake him.

"Harry dear, Harry can you hear me?" She said in a caring tone, brushing the hair back off his damp forehead. But he was unresponsive. "Severus, come here a moment and watch him. I need to get a few things from the storeroom. It almost looks as if he's having a seizure of some sort. I'm afraid he might start convulsing."

He nodded and walked over.

Pomfrey conjured up a cool face cloth. "Hold this on his forehead."

Snape took it and placed it on his forehead, immediately on contact Harry stilled. "Poppy, look at this."

She turned back to find Harry lying peacefully on his bed, a faint hint of a smile on his face. "It seems you have the magic touch there Severus." She replied, a little confused. "Take it off him for a moment will you?"

Snape complied. They both raised their eyebrows as he once again began his thrashing. He put the cloth back on his face and Harry calmed again. "Strange..." He muttered.

"Here, let me try." Snape stayed where he was until Poppy's hand replaced his. Again, as if on cue, Harry's features contorted in what appeared to be pain. "Severus, did you say you gave him the last of his potion?" He nodded. "Well, I don't see how this is possible... Say, you don't have a stronger one do you?" Snape nodded again.

"Shall I go get some?"

"Yes, I think that may be the only way, aside from you staying here all day and night, that Harry gets any rest at all."

Snape hurriedly left the hospital wing. He returned not too much later to find a really concerned Pomfrey. "Never in my life, " she started, "have I seen such a reaction. There is just no plausible reason for his... Severus, you know I must ask you this, but what did you _do_ to him?"

Snape hadn't really thought that the casting of his charm might have had something to do with this. He administered the Potion to Harry, who calmed and allowed him to do it at his touch, and then turned back to Pomfrey.

"The only thing I did was cast a reassurance charm on him, you know, " he lowered his voice, "to reassure him that there are people here who would care if he were to succeed in doing what he had intended. And I thought, considering my track record with him, that it might have more of an affect if it were I who cast it. Not that anyone else suggested it that is."

Pomfrey nodded in understanding; after all it was a very thoughtful thing to do. And even she thought it to be beyond the Potions master to do something of the sort. "And where did you find this charm?"

"I was going through a few of my books and I discovered it. I admit it was and old one, but I read all there was to read on it and it seemed harmless. All the known effects of it were very subtle, I made sure of that."

"Can I see this book? Oh and I trust you ran it by Dumbledore did you not?" She asked.

Snape frowned. "No I didn't. I personally didn't see anything wrong with it, so I thought I needn't disturb the headmaster with such a trivial question."

"Yes well, it may not be so pointless if it has something to do with the boys current situation. Stay with him, I'm going to fetch Albus."

Albus Dumbledore had accompanied Poppy Pomfrey back down to the infirmary ward. Snape had been waiting, sitting beside Harry holding his hand. He had a sour look on his face to show that he wasn't happy about it one bit. Although on the inside he was different, he was more concerned about Harry than the fact he had to hold his hand in front of people.

"Please, show me what happens Severus." Snape pried his hand away from Harry's and took a step back. Immediately his hands reached out, searching for Snape and he began squirming round again. Dumbledore frowned. "I see what you mean." He moved forward and attempted to take Harry's hand, but the boy battered him away. "Show me what he does when you try Poppy."

Pomfrey got much the same reaction as Dumbledore had.

"Take his hand, Severus." Snape complied and Harry calmed again. Dumbledore conjured up a chair and sat down with a sigh. "Poppy tells me you used a reassurance charm on him?"

"Yes, I did Albus, and I assure you it was perfectly safe. Here, I have the book with me." Poppy gave him a funny look. "Well, it mustn't have hit anyone on the way up because you don't have any head trauma patients do you? Anyway, this is the one I used." The book flipped open to the right page by it's self, as if a sudden wind had flared up out of nowhere.

"Hmm… I don't seem to recognise this one Severus. Had you been aware of it prior to seeing it in this book?"

Snape shook his head.

"I trust you didn't make any mistakes, that's not what would have happened. I think we should do some research. I'll go ask Filius what he thinks, but for the time being I think it's best you stay with Mr. Potter, Severus. I can arrange for Harry to be moved to your rooms if you would be more comfortable?"

"What! Albus, I have more important things to do than to baby-sit!"

"Severus, you must realise the situation... if there was any other way then we would use it, but you yourself have seen what happens when you leave his side. Would you prefer maybe an unused teachers quarters?"

Snape grumbled a few obscenities under his breath. "No, my rooms will be fine. Although I will not permit him to sleep in my bed. I will not be subjected to sleeping on the couch."

"Of course not. I will transport a student's bed down there. I'm sure we can make some space." His eyes twinkled mischievously.

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	4. I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP

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**AN:** Thanks to my reviewers! Absolute legends!

**CHAPTER FOUR:**_ I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP?_

It was only about twenty minutes later that Severus found himself in his rooms, which now appeared considerably smaller since there was an extra bed, and sitting behind his desk marking various parchments of work. He resented the fact that he was the only one who could keep Harry consoled, but it also worried him greatly. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was of his cause that Harry was in his present state.

It seemed that as long as he was near enough to Harry, not necessarily touching him, he would remain calm and sleeping. Severus was grateful for that, as he didn't want to spend every waking hour sitting there and holding his hand. He desperately longed for a bath, so he began thinking of ways he could do so while not disturbing Harry.

He had first thought that he could simply leave the door open, but upon trying that it seemed the distance between them was too vast. Next he thought of propping him up in a chair next to the bath, but he realised that he didn't quite fancy the idea of taking a bath with Harry Potter sitting there, liable to awake at any given moment. Severus finally came to the conclusion that he would administer a stronger drought of sleeping potion.

And it seemed to work. Just as a precaution though he kept the door open. He was able to enjoy his bath, and returned fresh with dripping turrets of black around his face. He figured Harry must have been feeling pretty grotty, and cast a cleaning spell on him, conjured up fresh Pyjama's and rid him of the appalling gown. Feeling somewhat maternal, Snape retrieved a warm face cloth and bathed his face. Harry smiled and actually leaned into the touch, despite the fact he had been given a heavy dosage of sleeping potion.

It was late in the afternoon, and Severus had just finished all his impending work. He had yet to hear of any word from Albus or anyone, but didn't think much of it as he summoned a House-elf to bring him up some supper.

Minutes later the Elf popped into existence bearing a tray full of the usual foods served at supper. "Where would sir like Ruby to put it?"

"Over here will be fine, thankyou." He pointed to a spare corner of his desk. Ruby the House-elf nodded and placed the tray where he asked and then disappeared again with a pop.

Severus packed away all his grading work and pulled the tray forward. He cast a glance at Harry who appeared to be sleeping peacefully. He shrugged and started on his meal.

He was just raising the first forkful to his mouth when a groan halted his movements. Severus looked over to see Harry waking up, his hair looking extremely dishevelled. He put the fork down, stood up and made his way over to him.

"You're not supposed to be awake."

Harry looked at him confused. "Where am I?" He yawned loudly.

"My rooms. Where else? It seems you've attached yourself to me. Would you care to tell me the reasoning behind this? If it's to get back at me for some reason or another...

"What? No way! What are you talking about? _Attached myself_ to you?"

"Do you not remember last night? You literally pleaded with me to stay by your side, to talk to you until the sun breached the horizon."

"Oh and I bet you're loving that aren't you?" Harry grew angry. "I bet you get your kicks out of humiliating people who are in a weaker state than your present self. I suppose all your slimy Slytherin's know how weak Harry Potter is by now, eh?"

Snape was about to retort, but he just didn't have the energy to fight with him at the moment. "Yes Mr. Potter. My life is so pointless that I spend my time thinking of ways to humiliate you." He said with heavy sarcasm and Harry couldn't help but laugh. "What?"

Harry erupted into more laughter. "All these years I thought you were one of the most intimidating people I knew. But now, now I just realised that most of the time... you're actually pretty funny!"

"I think I'll go call Poppy, you seem to be delusional." Snape moved towards the fireplace.

"See! There you go again! What happened to you, Professor?" Harry grinned at him.

"I don't know what you're talking about Mr. Potter. I think I would be able to ask you the same question with just as much wonder, although I don't see why you'd care." Snape stood still, surveying Harry for a moment.

"Maybe I'm just seeing you in a different light? I don't know... actually... I think I am." He sat there in thought.

"And what could you possibly see in a different light?" Snape was growing more worried with Harry; he was starting to suspect he was going insane.

"I don't really know... it's kind of hard to explain. But I'll have a go. " He took a breath. "Well, I used to see you as a looming figure. Something dark and sinister even. I dreaded Potions and whatever insults would be thrown my way. Believe it or not, your belittling of me did actually hurt my feelings, as much as I hate to admit it to you." He sighed and looked down at the blankets wrapped warmly around him. He noticed his pyjamas. "What're these?"

"I decided that the gown Pomfrey had you in was not suitable."

"Oh... Ok. Thanks. Anyway... But you know what? When I look at you just now, I don't see that tall, dark and evil man anymore. I see just an ordinary Wizard. Just another man. Not some evil creature that would want to murder me in my sleep. No, I'm lying. I don't see an ordinary wizard. I see Professor Snape... Damn it, I'm confused now. Tell me, what drugs do you have me on? My head is spinning." Harry clutched his head. "Oh wait, that might be because I'm not wearing my glasses." He chuckled and looked around for them. "Oh... do you know where they are?"

Snape was now bewildered. Harry was definitely insane. Or something of the sort. "I presume they are still in the infirmary. You stay here while I go and get them." He turned and headed for the door, which appeared to be an ordinary wall. Before he could even mutter the password, he heard the padding of bare feet on the floor. "I thought I told you to stay..." But he stopped when he felt arms wind themselves around him and a body pressing up against his back. "What are you...?"

"No, don't leave me..." Harry pleaded, burying his face into Snape's back. Snape spun around.

"What the ruddy hell is wrong with you? I'm beginning to suspect you're the one who's formulating some cheap ploy to get on my nerves! Let go of me now!" He roared.

Harry pulled back and looked up at him. "I... I... I don't know. But trust me when I say this _isn't_ planned! Why would I _want_ to do something like this? Tell me that!" Harry felt his eyes stinging, but there was no way he'd let himself cry in front of Snape of all people.

"Okay, I believe you." He said after a moment, studying Harry intently. "You'll have to come with me then." Snape couldn't help but smirk at the incredulous look on Harry's face.

"No I... I don't want to see anyone. Do uh... Ron and Hermione know where I am?"

"Well they knew you were in the infirmary..." Harry cut him off.

"Shit... do they know what... what happened? Oh sorry Professor, excuse the language." Harry said politely. Snape raised a dark eyebrow.

_I'll have to make note of the difference's to his personality. I'm quite surprised this is actually the Harry Potter everyone knows, I would expect him to be loosing his temper by now and definitely not be worried about the amount of respect he shows to me._ Snape thought to himself.

"I'm not going to be like some and tell you only half the truth, so here it is: Yes they know, _everything_. But, just so you know, they did visit you every night and spend as much of the day with you as they could between classes." Snape rolled his eyes.

Harry stayed silent.

"Well if you're not coming, I'll call Pomfrey and tell her to go look. Guess it saves me a trip on your behalf."

Snape walked over to the fireplace, followed closely by Harry. In a matter of moments he had contacted her and she was stepping through the hearth, Harry's glasses firmly in her podgy clutches.

"How're you feeling Harry?" She asked kindly, a little surprised to see he was awake. She gave Snape a questioning look, but he just shrugged.

"A little dizzy from not wearing my glasses, but other than that I feel perfectly fine." He smiled happily, taking a step closer to Snape. Pomfrey raised her eyebrows.

"You know Harry, Severus here was the only one who could calm you in your sleep. Were you aware of that?"

Harry nodded. "Yeah, Professor Snape told me. Actually... it's really strange. I can't seem to get too far away from him without out this feeling of panic rushing over me." He frowned in unison with Pomfrey.

"I see. Severus, you should have told Albus and I about this. And speaking of which, we have yet to find anything of any significance. But, I think it's best that Harry rests today. Tomorrow we shall investigate things further." She turned back to Harry. "Are you comfortable staying down here?"

"Yes. I would definitely prefer staying here than being in the infirmary... er, no offence!" Pomfrey nodded. She was quite used to Harry's antics, from having him in the infirmary so often, and thought nothing of the comment.

After she had left, both Harry and Severus stayed silent. Harry moved back to his bed, and sat on it crossed legged.

"Um, Professor?"

Snape looked up from his desk and raised his eyebrows, awaiting Harry's question.

"Well... I noticed that you somehow got food delivered," He motioned towards the tray of now cold food. "And I was wondering... well, I'm hungry."

"What do you want me to do about it? Just because you're staying down here doesn't automatically make me your servant."

"Oh I know that. But is it possible to get food sent down here?" Harry asked, growing a little frustrated with Snape's lack of good response.

"Obviously."

Harry groaned. "Well is it possible to get some more? Since you didn't eat, surely you must be hungry too?"

After a few more minutes of pointless bickering, Ruby the House-elf was finally called back and Snape ordered more food while Harry sat back with a pleased smile on his face.

After they had eaten and everything had been cleaned up, Snape announced he was going to bed and that Harry better not make one noise to wake him or else he wont ever live to see the light of day again. Harry chuckled at this, but yawned in agreement.

Harry had already gotten back in his bed and had rolled onto his side to sleep. He was only half awake when suddenly he bolted upright, propelled by an unknown force to himself, and before he knew what was happening his feet were on the ground and he was following Snape.

Once again Harry found himself attached to Snape's back.

"_Potter!_" He roared, grabbing Harry by the shoulders and forcefully removing him from around his torso. "Don't tell me I can't even go to the bathroom without you by my side!"

Harry looked like he was about to burst into tears again. "So... Sorry... I swear it wasn't me! I didn't move! I was nearly asleep! Can you let go of my shoulders now, your hurting me..."

Snape pushed him away. "Do you think you can at least give me a moment?"

Harry nodded.

"Good."

The door to the bathroom shut and Harry leaned against the cool stone of it. He slid down till he was sitting with his knees to his chest and his arms wrapped protectively round them. A great feeling of sadness washed over him, and Harry didn't realise he was unconsciously unwrapping his bandages.

Once the bandages were piled on the floor, Harry began scratching at his still unhealed wounds. He was oblivious to the fact there was now a steady trickle of blood running down his palm as he continued to sit there with his eyes shut.

A few more minutes later the door behind him rolled open and Harry fell backwards into Snape's shins.

"What have I told you..." But he halted his words when Harry hadn't moved, only to pull himself into the foetal position and start sobbing. Snape felt a pang of guilt run through him, and he felt the sudden, most unwanted, need to comfort Harry.

He knelt down beside him.

"Potter?" He put his hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry didn't even flinch. "Harry...?" He watched helplessly as Harry lie shaking at his feet. He began to panic slightly for a moment, as Severus had never really been subjected to anything like this before... Sure he had made students cry, but never in this way.

"I...I'm s... sorry! You m... must hate me more n... now!" Harry muttered though the silent sobs that were racking through his body.

This completely baffled Snape. Never had he imaged Harry Potter actually crying in front of him. He knew, as much as he hated to admit it, that this was something that Harry would never let himself do. He knew now that there was definitely something not right. But, there was nothing that could be done till the sun dawned the morrow.

"No, I don't hate you." He said in a light voice for him that sounded completely alien. It seemed to calm Harry though.

"R...really?"

Snape nodded, but then realised Harry wasn't looking at him. "Of course. Come-on, lets get you to bed." When Harry didn't budge, Snape put his hands under his armpits and lifted him. He didn't realise just how heavy Harry was, but it was inevitable since he was now nearly as tall as Snape himself, and far from being one of the shortest. It was now that he felt and saw the hot blood and the bandages lying uselessly on the floor.

But Snape didn't bother saying anything. Instead he used the bandaging spell to fix up Harry, and a diminishing spell to get rid of the used ones. Once he had Harry on his feet, as he was definitely not going to carry him, Snape put his arm around Harry's shoulders and he felt Harry's own arm around his waist.

Harry pulled him in close. Snape could feel him up against him, feel the shift of his muscles as he moved, almost see the heat radiating off of his body. He shuddered involuntarily.

They had reached Harry's bed but the boy-who-lived had yet to open his eyes. Instead he chose to stand, and rest his head up against Snape's shoulder.

Harry sighed.

"Are you capable of getting in yourself?"

Harry just grumbled.

"If you don't answer me properly I'll just let you go and leave you here." He warned, he himself being exceptionally tired.

"Hmm.. " Harry nodded vaguely, as if here were already asleep.

Snape pushed Harry off him and on to his bed. Once Harry had lain down and was covered, his eyes still closed, Snape retreated over to his own luxurious suite. Soon he too was in the warm layers and he was on the verge of sleep taking him any moment.

But a rustling noise brought him back to the current reality. He turned over, as if to block the sound, and tried to find the path back to sleep. But it became more persistent and was soon being accompanied by moans.

Snape growled out loud and sat up in bed. In the dark he could see Harry tossing and turning, obviously in distress.

_Bloody nuisance._

He kicked the covers off of himself and walked over to Harry. As soon as Snape had made some bodily contact with him he was fine. But upon returning to bed, the exact same thing happened. Again, and again.

By this time Snape was fuming. There was no way he was going to miss another night of sleep just because Harry Potter had some weird infatuation with him... that may have been caused by him in the first place.

Snape shrugged and tried to wake Harry. He shook him, but with no success. "Potter..." He shook him again but got nothing. Snape took deep breath, hoped to Merlin no one would hear (that was doubtful as the stone was extra thick in the dungeon walls (to block out the screaming)) and shouted.

"_Harry Potter!" _

Immediately Harry's eyes shot open and he bolted upright. It was like seeing a deer caught in headlights, as Harry frantically sought to get his bearings straight.

"What did you do that for? You could have given me a heart attack!" Harry said, holding his chest.

"Yes well at least then I'd be able to get some sleep. Do you have any idea what sort of racket you're making? It only seems to stop when I touch you, you know... do tell me, what exactly have you got planned in that head of yours?" Snape asked in a suspicious voice.

Harry looked momentarily shocked. "I didn't realise I was making all that noise Sir, but as I said... I just feel so calm when you're near me or touch me." Harry raised his uninjured hand and touched Snape's.

Snape looked down at him confusedly. "Well we need a solution. I need to sleep, and in order for me to sleep I need you to stay still. You say that the only way you will is if I'm near you and/or touching you. Arg, I'm never going to get any sleep at this rate..." He rubbed his hands over his tired eyes.

"Hop in, I don't mind." The suggestion threw Snape completely off balance.

"_What_? In there? With you? Forget it. If it had to come down to that, you'd be sleeping in my bed!"

"Okay." And Snape watched wide-eyed as Harry got up from his bed and padded over to Snape's very own. "Err... which side do you prefer?"

If it were possible, there would have been a steady stream of steam erupting from Severus' ears. "_What do you mean what side do I prefer?_ Surely you're not serious!"

"Sir, you should know me well enough by now to know that I'm not joking." Harry said, a little disappointedly.

"Well, I prefer the whole bed. So looks like you'll be sleeping in your own, as you should be! I have every right to just throw you out of here and send you back up to the infirmary."

"No! I'm sorry!" Harry visibly tensed up. "Oh and, I don't see how you'd need the whole bed... by no means are you that big! In fact, " Harry continued, narrowing his eyes in the dark. "You're looking a little thinner than usual..."

"What is it of your concern? And the only reason I look thinner is because I'm not wearing layers of robes like I do to classes. This is how I always look, not that it should matter to you, and you still look like you need a few good meals yourself."

Harry laughed. "Oh no, I've always looked like this. The only exception now is I have muscles! See." Harry lifted his shirt, grinning, and clenched his tight, but not too tight, abs. "All thanks to Quidditch."

Severus rolled his eyes, using that as a distraction from looking at that nice stomach. Thankfully for him Harry had replaced his shirt by the time he looked at him again.

"You didn't answer my question." Harry persisted.

"I did. And what you asked is irrelevant. By no means are you sleeping in my bed." To prove his point, Severus walked over to Harry and stood behind him. Just as Harry was about to turn around he felt two strong hands on his back, pushing him back towards his own bed. The touch was nice...

Once Harry was back in his own bed, and Severus in his, the Potions Professor turned over to go to sleep. That was when it started again.

First the rustling, then the moans.

Severus snorted heavily and angrily, and threw the blankets off him with such a force that he propelled them completely off his bed. He got up out of bed and stalked over to Harry's. He did what he had done to his own blankets, wrenching them off of Harry completely. He then lent over, put one arm under his shoulders and the other under his knees and picked him completely up off the bed.

Harry had finally awoken. "What... Huh?" He asked blearily, but woke up completely when he was thrown onto Severus' bed and bounced a couple of times.

"Just lie down and shut up!" Came the furious voice of the Potions Professor. Harry smiled contently in the dark and did as he was told, while Severus threw the blankets over him and got in himself. "Just one warning... if _this_ doesn't shut you up... I have a potion what definitely will! For good!"

Harry watched as Snape turned over so that his back was facing Harry. Harry couldn't help but sigh a little dejectedly. He stayed on his back, as he actually liked sleeping this way. He noted that Snape's bed was indeed comfortable, not too hard but not too soft.

But Harry couldn't sleep.

He was just happy to lie there, and listen to Snape's breathing. It wasn't yet even so that was an indication that the man was clearly still awake.

"I'm sorry..." Harry whispered, almost to himself. But it sounded to him like the sound echoed of each of the walls, raising a few octaves once it had come from his mouth even though it had only been a whisper.

"I thought I told you to shut up." Came a muffled voice, all deep and husky.

Harry shuddered, but stayed silent. Harry lay awake for a few more minutes, how many he didn't know. Soon though, he heard Snape's breaths even out and deepen stating that he had finally been granted his wish of sleep.

Harry began to shiver. He pulled the blankets up closer around him, but it was still cold. He was almost tempted to snuggle up against Snape, but that would never do.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, Harry felt himself falling into a light sleep.

Snape awoke when he felt tugging on his blankets. This was something foreign for him, as it had been a good few years since he had shared a bed with anyone an entire night. His top lip curled in malice when he remembered why there was someone else in his bed.

He was about curse the boy-who-lived out loud when he saw that Harry was visibly shaking. He reached out a hand and touched his cheek; it was icy. Frowning, Severus conjured up a blanket and put it over the sleeping body. He watched for a few moments, but noticed it seemed to have no effect whatsoever. So he conjured up another one. But still nothing. Severus knew he couldn't leave him cold like that, and it seemed there was only one more thing to do and that was to use his own body heat.

Severus only hoped that Harry wouldn't awake in the morning and have a heart attack at being cuddled by his Potions Professor. He scooted over and lay himself down beside Harry, who now had his back turned to him and was curled up in the foetal position. He wrapped an arm around him carefully, as not to wake him, and pulled him close.

He could feel the coldness practically sinking into his own skin, never had Severus ever known anyone to be so cold. But what astounded him the most, was the fact that after only a few moments of his touch, Harry almost automatically warmed up. In a matter of no time, Severus was warm beyond belief and barely noticed that he and Harry had changed positions.

Now, Harry had turned over in his sleep and was half on top of Severus. He had his head rested on the older mans shoulder, who had his arms around him. As Harry was lying on his stomach, he had one leg splayed out and laid in-between Severus'.

Half in dream and half out of, Severus unconsciously toyed with the hem of Harry's bed shirt, and was still oblivious as his hand breached it and ran across the naked small of Harry's back.

It was like this the two finally both fell into deep, pleasant sleeps.

TBC 


End file.
